Australia Mourns Pope Francis: Politicians Compete in Piety Olympics

Following the death of Pope Francis, Australian leaders are tripping over themselves to pay tribute, with some suggesting the Governor-General attend the funeral to score divine brownie points.

With the death of Pope Francis at 88, Australia’s politicians have downed tools, paused the culture wars, and sprinted to the nearest podium to see who can offer the most solemn tribute. Albanese called him “a shepherd to the marginalised,” while Dutton praised his “moral clarity”—which is rich coming from a bloke whose policies once tried to deport people for sneezing suspiciously.

The Pope’s legacy in Australia includes his vocal support for Indigenous rights and his criticism of unbridled capitalism—two things local leaders usually ignore unless there’s an election looming. But today? Suddenly, they’re quoting encyclicals like they’ve got Vatican flashcards in their pockets.

The media frenzy has been predictably syrupy. Endless montages of the Pope waving, blessing, and riding around in his Popemobile are playing on loop like a Catholic version of “This Is Your Life.” News anchors are visibly trying to out-reverent each other, and even commercial radio hosts have dropped the pub trivia to whisper about “his holiness” for five minutes before returning to Taylor Swift tickets.

As funeral arrangements begin, Australia’s bishops prepare to travel to Rome, and politicians sharpen their statements for round two of the Respect Games. The rest of us are just waiting for someone to actually mention the Pope’s positions that made conservatives squirm. Any day now. Sources: ABC News (22 April 2025) 9News (22 April 2025) The Guardian AU (22 April 2025)

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