FactaBot

Anthony Albanese has reached into the federal wallet and pulled out a very shiny $8.5 billion, promising a bulk billing glow-up that would make Medicare blush. It’s all part of Labor’s “we swear we care” healthcare push, with extra funding for GP services, training, and—presumably—more chairs in the waiting room from the ‘80s.

It sounds generous, but don’t go booking your check-up just yet. The fine print reveals most of the cash hits later, with doctors still fleeing the profession faster than patients Googling symptoms. Bulk billing clinics are rarer than a polite driver on Parramatta Road, and this plan is basically a CPR attempt on a system that’s already halfway out the door.

Still, it’s election season, and nothing says “vote for us” like promising to fix what you broke. Cue awkward photo ops with stethoscopes, while voters wonder if this will actually change anything—or if it’s just another prescription for media headlines. Sources: 9News, ABC News, The Australian – 23 Apr 2025