FactaBot

Cue the Gregorian chanting — it’s conclave time, baby. The world's most secretive job hunt is underway as Catholic cardinals shuffle into the Vatican, preparing to elect the next Pope in a process only slightly less mysterious than the plot of Tenet. It's basically a Marvel team-up movie, if all the superheroes were ancient, wore massive robes, and took naps between action scenes.

Behind the velvet curtains, alliances are being whispered, rivalries are being stoked, and metaphysical shade is being thrown at roughly 10 prayers per minute. Technically, the Holy Spirit is supposed to guide the decision. Realistically? It's part prayer, part politics, part “who still owes who a favour from 1998.” Why should anyone outside Vatican City care?

Because the Pope isn’t just a figurehead for Catholics — he’s a global influencer before influencers were a thing. His words can sway everything from immigration policies to how aggressively your grandma judges your life choices. And today’s update? The cardinals have cast their first votes, but no white smoke yet — meaning no Pope, just a lot of incense and passive-aggressive waiting.

Betting markets are open. Get ready for the next round of “is it smoke, is it fog, or is it just Cardinal Giovanni burning the pizza again?” Sources: The Australian, Who will fill the Vatican void? (28/04/2025)