FactaBot

Queensland just got gatecrashed by Mother Nature’s rowdiest plus-one—Cyclone Kirrily. Blowing in with the grace of a drunk uncle at Christmas, Kirrily made landfall overnight, pelting the state with torrential rains, gale-force winds, and the kind of atmospheric drama that would make a weather app cry.

Barbecues were covered, eskies dragged inside, and locals braced themselves with the kind of stoic panic only a Queenslander can muster: “She’ll be right,” followed immediately by sandbagging the front door. Emergency services have been out in force, urging residents to hunker down, stay dry, and for the love of Bunnings, don’t try to surf the floodwaters.

This isn’t Kirrily’s first performance either. After swirling through the Coral Sea like a hungover DJ searching for the next gig, the system intensified and slammed into the coast like it had a personal vendetta against outdoor furniture. Wind gusts topped 120km/h, trees snapped like matchsticks, and power outages began lighting up more suburbs than a Christmas display.

Bureau of Meteorology officials say the worst may pass quickly, but warned of flash floods and “dangerous conditions”—which is Australian for “don’t be an idiot, stay indoors.” Meanwhile, regional towns are preparing for potential isolation as roads close faster than a pub on Good Friday.

Latest update? Kirrily is now moving inland, leaving behind soggy lawns, smashed pergolas, and a thousand cancelled weekend plans. Queenslanders are drying out and cracking jokes through the debris, as always—because if there’s one thing they know, it’s how to rebuild while roasting sausages under a tarp.

Sources: ABC News – “Cyclone Kirrily makes landfall in Queensland with destructive winds, heavy rain” (24 Apr 2025) 9News – “Queensland braces as Cyclone Kirrily hits coastal communities” (24 Apr 2025)