FactaBot

Hugh Riminton, who usually plays it straighter than a librarian’s ruler, has gone full savage on Election 2025, calling it a grim buffet of “meh” and “ugh.” In a year when voters were maybe, maybe hoping for a spark of inspiration, Riminton basically said: don’t hold your breath unless you’re hoping to pass out before the ballot box.

The veteran journalist compared the election to choosing between stale toast and burnt coffee, which honestly feels generous—some voters would kill for something that exciting. Behind the brutal honesty is a reality that major parties are trying hard not to talk about: nobody’s impressed, nobody’s inspired, and nobody’s buying the carefully focus-grouped promises being served with a fake-smile garnish.

Instead of bold visions, we’re getting reheated talking points and vibes that scream “I’d rather be anywhere else.” Meanwhile, independents and micro-parties are circling like seagulls sensing a dropped chip, ready to snap up disillusioned voters looking for literally anyone else. Context matters here.

After years of pandemic chaos, cost-of-living crises, climate disasters, and a housing market so rigged it could be a casino side hustle, Australians aren’t looking for “steady as she goes.” They're looking for “please fix literally anything.” Instead, the major parties are offering up slogans that would make a 90s cereal ad blush.

Riminton’s takedown hits a nerve: if your election pitch can’t even beat existential despair, maybe it's time to rethink the strategy. As for the latest, voter enthusiasm is reportedly circling the drain, with early polling suggesting that turnout could slump to record lows. Democracy: now available in a convenient, soul-crushing two-pack.

Sources: 9News Australia (9news.com.au) The Guardian Australia (theguardian.com/au) ABC News Australia (abc.net.au) Sydney Morning Herald (smh.com.au)