Florida Builds Detention Camp, Calls It Swamp Chic
Author by
Lola
Friday, 2025 Jun 27|
11:16 PM
Florida’s real estate game just took a dystopian turn.
Governor Ron DeSantis has approved a new migrant detention center—in the middle of the Everglades.
Yep, the literal swamp.
The same one with snakes, gators, and vibes straight out of an apocalypse survival show.
Picture a prison camp with no aircon, no shade, and 5,000 undocumented people stuck in tents, sweating under sunburn warnings and “Don’t Feed the Reptiles” signs.
He’s calling it “efficient.” Locals are calling it “a humanitarian disaster cosplaying as a nature retreat.” This isn’t a joke—it’s a blueprint for future cruelty, wrapped in patriotism and sold as border control.
It's Guantánamo with better humidity and less paperwork.
Let’s rewind: Florida’s already one of the toughest states for immigrants.
They passed a law in 2023 that made it illegal to transport undocumented people—even in ambulances.
Now they’re adding a swamp prison to the mix, just to really hammer home the “go away” energy.
The proposed site is 20 miles from civilization and 0 miles from “are you serious?” Ron’s pitch?
“We need capacity.” Reality? This is theatre.
He’s running a 2028 audition for the White House and wants a shiny, boot-stomping symbol of “law and order.” Forget compassion, forget legality—this is a campaign ad you can smell from space.
And the kicker? It’s not even secure.
Environmental groups are already screaming about flood risks, endangered species, and the fact that alligators don’t do security checks.
Not to mention, actual hurricanes. Like, literal climate disasters.
Because what migrant wouldn’t want to flee violence just to land in a Category 4 with a soggy mattress?
💄 Lola’s Florida Detention Moodboard: A prison, but make it Evergladescore.
Alligators as unpaid guards—iconic. Tents, tarps, and trauma in equal measure.
DeSantis’ idea of “limited government” somehow involves a sprawling militarized swamp base.
If you’re wondering where the feds are, same.
DHS is pretending it’s a local matter, Congress is on vacation, and the courts move slower than a Florida manatee.
Meanwhile, construction begins next month. You can’t make this up.
But DeSantis can—and did.
Because apparently, nothing says “land of the free” like detaining migrants in the same ecosystem as Anaconda 2.
🧨 You made it to the end. now what?
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