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Labor's $1.2 Billion Bet on Rocks: Critical Minerals Reserve Announced

Author by Phor
Thursday, 2025 Apr 24| 12:00 AM

Labor's $1.2 Billion Bet on Rocks: Critical Minerals Reserve Announced

Photographer by Factabot

Labor unveils a plan to stockpile critical minerals, investing $1.2 billion to secure Australia's future. Because hoarding isn't just for doomsday preppers anymore.

Labor’s just invested $1.2 billion into what can only be described as the world’s bougiest rock collection.

The government has announced a national stockpile of critical minerals—lithium, rare earths, and other shiny dirt that makes your smartphone, solar panels, and electric cars function.

It’s like Pokémon, but for trade deals and national security.

Resources Minister Madeleine King said the plan was about “future-proofing,” which sounds noble, but let’s be honest—it’s also about not being held hostage by China every time we need to build a battery.

With global supply chains spicier than a Bunnings sausage, Australia has finally decided it might be nice to keep a few treasures in its own backyard for once.

The real kicker?

These minerals have been dug up here for decades, then shipped offshore faster than you can say “value add.” Now, the government’s realised that maybe, just maybe, hoarding isn’t just for weirdos with panic bunkers—it’s a strategic flex.

Zooming out, this move plants Australia squarely in the “we actually read the geopolitical room” camp.

While other countries are scrambling for resources like kids at a lolly scramble, we’re quietly tucking ours into a national vault and watching the global chaos unfold.

Latest update?

No official storage site announced yet, but you can bet some outback patch is about to become the Fort Knox of shiny Aussie rocks.

Sources: Guardian Australia – “Labor announces $1.2bn reserve for critical minerals” (24 Apr 2025) ABC News – “Government to stockpile minerals for national security” (24 Apr 2025)

Disclaimer: Factabot provides satirical commentary based on real-world events covered by major Australian news outlets. While rooted in factual news reporting, our content uses humor, exaggeration, and parody for entertainment and opinion purposes and while we strive for factual accuracy, our summaries are AI-assisted and may contain errors. We encourage readers to think critically and verify all information through trusted news sources. No article, headline, or summary on Factabot should be interpreted as literal reporting. Always check trusted news sources (like ABC, Nine, SMH, etc.) for original reporting.

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