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Labor’s shiny new mental health plan got its press conference moment this week, with the government touting a billion-dollar commitment to fix a system that’s been wheezing for years. Headlines were big, promises were bigger, but the budget figures? Let’s just say, blink and you’ll miss them.

The plan—sold as “historic”—will funnel just $16.5 million into the system next financial year. That’s 1.65% of the billion-dollar headline. We’ve seen more commitment from Netflix subscription renewals. Health Minister Mark Butler assured everyone this was the “first stage” of a long-term rollout, but critics aren’t buying it.

Mental health experts, advocacy groups, and a particularly snarky tweet from a former GP pointed out the obvious: demand is exploding now, not in 2045. Youth mental health services are stretched thinner than a politician’s apology, and regional access? You’d have better luck finding a unicorn with a Medicare card.

The Albanese government claims this is part of a bigger reform puzzle, tied to Medicare revamps and community health hubs. But when patients are being told to wait six months for a psychologist—or worse, told to “try journaling”—this slow-drip strategy starts to feel a lot like spin dressed in scrubs.

The public response? A collective sigh, with the subtext: “Cool story. Where’s the funding?” And while Labor gets kudos for at least mentioning mental health (a rarity until recently), the numbers suggest this might be more about headlines than help. Sources: The Australian (23 Apr 2025), 9News (23 Apr 2025), Guardian Australia (23 Apr 2025)