Margot and Elordi to Star in Sexy Gothic Moan-Fest—Wuthering Heights

Two Aussie hotties in period costumes sighing in the rain? Hollywood says art, we say clickbait with fog. Wuthering Heights, but sexy.

Put on your corsets and crank the fog machine—Hollywood just greenlit the horniest version of Wuthering Heights yet. Aussie icons Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi have been cast as the stormy soulmates in a brooding reboot of the 19th-century classic that asks, “What if literary misery... but hot?” The casting feels like an algorithm generated it: Elordi, fresh off his “tall and tortured” cinematic tour, and Margot, who’s cornered the market on stunning women who slowly lose their minds in gorgeous lighting.

Together, they’ll presumably spend 120 minutes staring at each other from windswept cliffs while whispering “I am Heathcliff” through tears and tight bodices. The bigger picture? This is part of Hollywood’s recent obsession with making old-school literature steamy again. From Persuasion with Gen Z slang to Romeo + Juliet but make it bisexual, it’s all about dusting off the school curriculum and slapping it with a thirst trap filter.

Because nothing says timeless art like TikTok edits of rain-soaked cheekbones. Today’s update is basically one giant swoon: fans are already predicting Oscars, Tumblr is vibrating, and somewhere a Year 11 English teacher is preparing a very awkward classroom screening. All we ask is that this version includes fewer cough deaths and more eye contact.

Preferably shirtless. Sources: The Guardian – “Morning Mail: Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi to star in new Wuthering Heights film” (30/04/2025) https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/apr/30/morning-mail-wednesday-ntwnfb

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