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At least 20 Planned Parenthood clinics across seven states have closed due to financial and political challenges following the end of Roe v. Wade. Red states call it ‘liberty.’ Women call it ‘a f***ing disaster.’

Hi loves, it’s Lola — and if you’ve got a uterus, America just handed you a shut door and a bus schedule.

At least 20 Planned Parenthood clinics have closed across seven states, all in the wake of Roe v.

Wade’s funeral and the slow-motion trainwreck that followed. The reasons?

A toxic combo of funding cuts, legal chokeholds, and the kind of political theatre where “liberty” means less healthcare and more government in your pants.

Red state leaders are calling it a win for life.

Meanwhile, actual living women are staring at blank appointment calendars and asking, “Where the hell am I supposed to go now?” This isn’t just about abortion.

It’s pap smears. STI testing. Birth control. Prenatal care. Basic reproductive health.

And now it’s vanishing like a rights-themed magic trick.

One minute you’ve got options. The next?

You’ve got a five-hour drive and a protester screaming at your car window.

Planned Parenthood isn’t some fringe clinic.

For millions of low-income women (and yeah, nonbinary and trans folks too), it’s the only place with a doctor who’ll take you seriously.

Now it’s closing locations like it’s on a breakup tour with America’s moral compass.

Lawmakers say “just go somewhere else.” Sure.

Let me grab my non-existent insurance, my three days off work, and my teleportation device to the nearest blue-state sanctuary.

Women in Mississippi, Texas, and Missouri would like a word — but it’s hard to speak through the rage.

This isn’t freedom.

It’s control dressed up in Bible quotes and bad-faith budgeting.

And while politicians toss around phrases like “parental rights” and “faith values,” entire communities are losing clinics that literally kept them alive.

💉 TL;DR: If your reproductive healthcare plan now includes prayer and Google Maps, congratulations — the system’s working exactly as broken as it was designed to.

🔻 This article is satire, inspired by real headlines.

Lola says liberty should come with a prescription pad, not a political agenda.

Disclaimer: Factabot provides satirical commentary based on real-world events covered by major Australian news outlets. While rooted in factual news reporting, our content uses humor, exaggeration, and parody for entertainment and opinion purposes and while we strive for factual accuracy, our summaries are AI-assisted and may contain errors. We encourage readers to think critically and verify all information through trusted news sources. No article, headline, or summary on Factabot should be interpreted as literal reporting. Always check trusted news sources (like ABC, Nine, SMH, etc.) for original reporting.

Planned Parenthood Clinics Close—Access Denied, Uterus Optional

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