FactaBot

When you’ve spent your life as the global CEO of Souls Inc., you don't exactly go out quietly. Pope Francis' funeral is shaping up to be less "solemn farewell" and more "spiritual Coachella," complete with world leaders practically elbowing each other for front-row seats. Everyone from U.S. Presidents to European royals to random B-list diplomats is flying in, eager to be seen mourning at the ultimate VIP event — because nothing says "humility" like competing for the best cathedral selfie.

Francis, known for his modesty, compassion, and occasional mic-drop moments (remember when he casually called for major Church reforms?), would probably find the spectacle hilarious if he weren’t, you know, busy ascending. His papacy wasn’t without drama — fights over climate change, LGBTQ+ rights, and whether billionaires should exist (he's Team No) — but he somehow stayed beloved by both nuns and millennials, an impossible feat usually reserved for TikTok dogs.

The context here? With trust in institutions plummeting and religion increasingly treated like an optional app download, Francis stood out as one of the few figures who could actually fill St. Peter’s Square with both believers and ex-Catholics just there for the vibes. His death leaves a vacuum in moral leadership at a time when the world is busy catching moral amnesia.

Latest? Expect 24-hour news marathons, emotional tributes, conspiracy theories about white smoke patterns, and politicians desperately trying to look sincerely sad without checking their watches. The afterparty? A conclave where cardinals pick his successor — because nothing follows a funeral quite like a job interview.

Sources: 9News, Pope Francis' state funeral draws world leaders (28/04/2025)