FactaBot

Pope Francis might still technically be breathing, but Vatican City is already setting the mood lighting and fluffing the clouds for his grand heavenly send-off. Funeral plans for His Holiness are apparently well underway, because if there's anything the Church does better than forgiveness, it's pageantry.

Global leaders, royalty, and probably that guy who sells fake relics on eBay are expected to show up, all preparing to out-sombre each other in a competition fiercer than Eurovision. Pope Francis, beloved for his humble vibes and chaotic Twitter quotes, may not have solved world peace, but he did remind a lot of Catholics that God doesn’t require a Gucci suit.

The drama behind the scenes is juicier than a Vatican potluck. Security is tighter than a nun’s shoelaces, given that the world's top VIPs will be cramming into Rome. Planning a papal funeral is no small feat: it’s basically the Met Gala for religious folk, except with less sequins and way more incense.

And like any good event, there's already infighting over who sits where, which cardinal gets the best camera angle, and how many hours it’s acceptable to cry before lunch. Big picture, this is a milestone moment. Francis was the "cool grandpa" pope who shook up the establishment just enough to be annoying but not enough to spark actual reform.

His death will trigger the Vatican’s famously secretive conclave—a smoky, old-school version of 'Survivor' where men in red hats vote until someone gets the keys to the Holy See. Expect a lot of talk about "hope" and "renewal," while everyone quietly jostles for power like it's Black Friday at Best Buy.

As for the latest, official Vatican spokespeople insist Francis remains in “stable” condition. Which is Vatican-speak for "brace yourselves, people." In other words, the world’s most solemn party is ready to launch whenever Heaven gives the nod—and you just know someone’s already picked the hymn playlist.

Sources: Vatican News (vaticannews.va) BBC News (bbc.com) Associated Press (apnews.com) Reuters (reuters.com)