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If you thought farming was just about growing crops and battling drought, think again. In Australia, it’s also about surviving a bureaucratic deathmatch just to let a few campers pitch a tent. Across the country, farmers who opened up their paddocks to tourists looking for a slice of "authentic bush life" are now being strangled by red tape so thick it could star in its own horror movie.

Councils are demanding permits, parking inspections, sewage assessments, fire plans, and probably a blood sample — all for a few folks roasting marshmallows under the stars. What’s extra spicy? These same councils that are slamming farmers with compliance nightmares have no trouble fast-tracking approvals for yet another artisanal gelato shop in trendy inner-city streets.

Want to churn out almond-chia-miso sorbet? Approved yesterday. Want to let three grey nomads park a caravan next to your cows? Better submit your environmental impact statement, pay $10,000, and sacrifice a goat to the gods of Planning and Zoning. Bigger picture: It’s yet another reminder of how Australia's bureaucratic addiction is choking rural innovation while cities get all the glossy headlines about "growth" and "community engagement." Farmers are getting crushed not by nature, but by layers of regulations written by people who think dirt is just a cute Instagram filter.

Latest update: Farmers are fighting back with lobbying efforts, but given how fast government wheels turn, they’ll probably get a decision around the same time Victoria solves its measles problem. Maybe. Sources: 9News, "Red tape stifling farmers offering camping experiences," 29 April 2025