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Standard & Poor’s just stepped in like the designated driver at an open-bar wedding, telling both Labor and Coalition to put the budget tequila down. In the heat of campaign season, Anthony Albanese and Peter Dutton are tossing around spending promises like confetti—free this, subsidised that, tax cuts for all!

But S&P isn’t here for the party. Their warning? Someone’s going to pay, and it’s not the guy handing out free dental. The fiscal smackdown comes after both major parties dropped enough expensive pledges to fill a yacht made of Centrelink cash. Labor’s pouring funds into housing, health, and education; the Coalition’s outbidding them like they’re on The Block.

And while it’s all fun and handouts until the election, S&P politely reminded everyone that fairy dust doesn’t balance a budget. Translation: enjoy the sugar rush now—you're getting a tax migraine in 2026. Zooming out, this is the latest in a long-running game of election cosplay, where parties act like money is infinite until someone whispers “credit rating” and the music stops.

Australia’s economic credibility is strong-ish, but even S&P knows the vibes can’t pay for infrastructure. And in case you're wondering, yes—this exact cycle happens every three years. It's basically fiscal Groundhog Day with more spreadsheets. The update? S&P didn’t downgrade us yet—they just did that eyebrow raise your mum gives before asking where your rent money went.

If promises keep ballooning like an influencer’s filler budget, expect warnings to turn into downgrades. And yep, that means cuts, hikes, or both. Trick or treat, taxpayers. Sources: The Australian – “Albanese and Dutton’s election spending promises will result in big tax rises, spending cuts” (30/04/2025) https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/albanese-and-duttons-election-spending-promises-will-result-in-big-tax-rises-spending-cuts/news-story/691a6aeae5e40b7e74e8492638be64bc