Trump Declares Ceasefire, Everyone Side-Eyes
Author by
Phor
Tuesday, 2025 Jun 24|
03:20 PM
Donald Trump opened his mouth again—this time to declare “peace.” The former President-turned-unofficial-war-diplomat announced a ceasefire between Iran and Israel, claiming it was brokered thanks to a call through Qatar.
Everyone else?
Looking at each other like they just found out their Uber driver is also their dentist.
The ceasefire supposedly follows a “successful de-escalation effort” by Qatari intermediaries, but neither Iran nor Israel is publicly singing kumbaya.
In fact, most of the region’s official statements sound like someone gritting their teeth while forced to say “thank you” at a hostage reunion.
Iran called it “a mutual agreement under sovereign discretion.” Israel said “all defensive actions are paused pending reassessment.” Translation?
The missiles are napping, not gone.
On American soil, Trump took the announcement as an excuse to do what he does best—claim credit for things he didn’t actually do.
Standing behind a podium like he just ended World War III, he referred to himself as a “peacemaker,” dropped a few backhanded digs at Biden’s foreign policy, and reminded everyone that “only Trump can talk to everyone.” He also pronounced Qatar wrong twice.
Diplomacy. Media outlets scrambled to unpack what this so-called ceasefire even means.
No formal documentation. No joint statements. Just vibes.
Meanwhile, the Pentagon offered the equivalent of a shrug, saying, “We support all efforts toward regional stability,” which roughly translates to: “We have no clue what’s going on either.” Markets gave a polite cough of approval—oil prices dipped slightly, investors unclenched one eyebrow, and CNN went full graphic mode with “BREAKING: PEACE DEAL?” while their pundits started betting on how long it lasts.
Spoiler: no one’s betting long.
Regular people in both Iran and Israel, meanwhile, are still picking up the mess, still worried about the next rocket siren, and still watching the skies more than the news.
Because if history’s taught us anything, it’s that Middle East “ceasefires” come with shorter shelf lives than milk.
So here we are: Trump says peace is restored.
The region says, “Sure.” And everyone else says, “We’ll believe it when missiles stop being the weather report.”
🧨 You made it to the end. now what?
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