FactaBot

Clive Palmer is back—like a ghost in your phone plan—blasting out unsolicited political texts with the subtlety of a chainsaw alarm clock. Australians from Broome to Bondi woke up this week to find their phones hijacked by Palmer’s Trumpet of Patriots party, a name that already sounds like it came from a rejected Marvel spinoff.

The kicker? No unsubscribe button. Just vibes. And rage. Palmer, who’s somehow still allowed within 500 metres of a political campaign, has dusted off the same tactic he used in 2019—bombarding voters with SMS spam under the guise of “free speech.” It’s less democracy, more digital door-knocking without the decency to leave.

No one asked for this. No one consented to this. But Clive’s coming anyway, armed with emoji-level patriotism and what feels like the entire Yellow Pages of mobile numbers. This isn’t some rogue stunt—it’s a pattern. Palmer spent $80 million in 2019 to not win a single seat. But the goal was never winning—it was warping the conversation, flooding the zone, and trolling the electorate into submission.

Now, his new “Trumpet” party (yes, really) is trying the same playbook: maximum noise, minimum accountability. There’s no opt-out, no transparency, and no shame. Just a billionaire weaponizing loopholes in political communication laws to yell into your phone like a drunk uncle at a wedding. The AEC says political messages are exempt from spam laws.

Which means if you’re angry? Too bad. The law’s on Team Clive. As of today, inboxes across Australia are still under siege. Palmer hasn’t apologised—because of course he hasn’t—and there’s no sign the texts will stop before May 3. So if you hear a digital trumpet blaring? It’s not democracy.

It’s Clive Palmer’s ego, dialled to max. Sources: ABC News, The Guardian, 9News, SBS (01/05/2025).