FactaBot

Turns out “Buy Now, Pay Later” also applies to investor regret. Block Inc., the US-based overlord of Afterpay, just suffered a Wall Street rug pull, watching its shares nosedive after a savage earnings report. Losses are up, growth is down, and suddenly “financial tech” is just code for “whoops, we did it again.” Jack Dorsey—yes, that Jack, the one who gave Twitter its soul and then sold it to a billionaire midlife crisis—owns Block.

Afterpay was supposed to be his crown jewel. Instead, it’s now the discount bin of his empire, delivering quarterly results so underwhelming you could mistake them for a Telstra refund. The numbers? A 20% slump in revenue projections, mounting losses, and investor confidence sliding faster than rent prices in a zombie apocalypse.

Analysts called it “disappointing.” We’d call it a corporate faceplant with jazz hands. Let’s not forget, Afterpay was Australia’s fintech fairytale. Slick app, zero interest, and marketing so good it convinced an entire generation to treat brunch like a financial plan. But with inflation biting and regulation looming, consumers are finally asking if $5 payments for six months is really worth it for glow-in-the-dark Crocs.

The latest? Block’s execs are promising a “strategic reset.” Translation: panic, layoffs, and PowerPoints. Meanwhile, Afterpay continues flogging debt in a climate where even avocado toast is now an investment risk. Sources: The Australian – “Jack Dorsey-led Block smashed after quarterly result” (02/05/2025) https://www.theaustralian.com.au/business/jack-dorseyled-block-smashed-after-quarterly-result/news-story/3fe7b46e437007ab27e37dc68f903f23