Top Roast of The Day!
Xiaomi’s EV Isn’t Just a Car—It’s a Flex, a Powerbank, and a Ferrari Cosplay
Because Apparently Everyone Wants a Ferrari You Can Charge
WTF!
Israel (US) Bombs Iran’s Trade Dreams—Because China Can’t Have Nice Things
Iran sits smack in the middle of China’s grand Belt and Road makeover, acting as a crucial landbridge between East and West. So when Beijing starts building railroads and pipelines through Tehran, Uncle Sam reaches for the warplanes..
Who voted for this?!
SCOTUS Clocks Out With One Last Culture War Combo Meal
The Supreme Court is speedrunning through chaos before their summer vacay—deciding if immigrant kids deserve citizenship and if parents can skip queer books. It's giving: “How much damage can we...
Burn it all down!
NBA Draft: Kids Get Rich, Teams Get Hope, Knicks Get Screwed (Again)
Barclays Center hosted the 2025 NBA Draft and somehow, even without playing, the Knicks still took an L. Meanwhile, 19-year-olds became millionaires, sports pundits used “upside” 400 times, and Adam Silver looked like a proud sports dad on LinkedIn.
Who's getting dragged today?
Gaza Buries Its Children While Israel Bombs, and the World Scrolls On
Hospitals gone. Schools crushed. Kids pulled from rubble. Israel calls it “self-defence,” but Gaza looks like a war crime on autoplay. Leaders offer condolences, not consequences. Is this what justice...
Politics
Trump’s ‘Beautiful’ Budget Bill Gets Curb-Stomped by Reality
Trump hyped it like a Netflix reboot—tax cuts, spending sprees, all wrapped in red, white, and delusion. Then the Senate Parliamentarian took one look and said, “Nope.” Medicaid gutting? Tossed....
Health
RFK Jr’s Vax Panel Says: Inject Chaos, Not Science
America’s new vaccine council is chaired by a man who thinks WiFi causes cancer—and shocker, they’re already backing a controversial RSV treatment for babies. It’s like letting a flat-earther run NASA. Doctors are fuming. RFK Jr is vibing.
World
Trump Declares Victory in Iran—Iran Laughs, Keeps Rebuilding
Trump bombed Iran “strategically,” then claimed it was a genius move. Leaked intel now says it was basically fireworks for Fox News. Iran’s nukes? Fine. Trump’s ego? Inflated. Military analysts? Googling synonyms for “oops.”
Business
America Loses $20B Tech IPO to… Brexitland?!
Norwegian software giant Visma just picked London—yes, Brexit-broke, fish-flinging London—for its IPO over the U.S. Wall Street’s having an identity crisis while the UK celebrates like it’s still got an...
Health
RFK Jr’s CDC Panel Bans Vaccine Preservative—Science Sobs Quietly
The new CDC panel, now featuring zero actual immunologists and one guy who thinks turmeric cures measles, just voted to scrap thimerosal from flu shots....
Breaking News
California’s New Immigration Jail: More Beds, Less Soul
The feds want to drop a mega-detention center in California like it’s a Starbucks franchise. Immigration advocates are furious. ICE is thrilled. And somewhere, a contractor’s yacht just got upgraded.
Breaking News
Congress Reconsiders Security After Minnesota Shooting—With Thoughts and Prayers, Obviously
After yet another shooting, lawmakers are shocked—again—that violent rhetoric sometimes ends in, well, violence. So now they’re “reviewing protocols,” which is D.C. speak for “writing sternly worded emails.”
Politics
Trump Yeets 200 Jets, Iran Rebuilds by Thursday
Trump’s “mission accomplished” moment over Iran’s nuclear sites lasted a full 36 hours, until Pentagon analysts quietly revealed it only bought a few months’ delay. Iran and Israel are still mid-slapfight, and the ceasefire is already ghosting everyone. Democracy’s still pending—missiles aren’t.
Uncategorized
Trump Screams “Cut Rates!” Fed Screams “No.”
Trump begged the Fed for a rate cut like a teenager begging to use Dad’s credit card. Jerome Powell just sipped his iced policy and left interest rates exactly where they are. Inflation’s still vibing, Wall Street’s still jumpy, and Trump’s still tweeting in all caps.
Uncategorized
ICE Now Deporting People for Breathing Wrong
Despite promising to target “dangerous criminals,” ICE is back to its usual routine: rounding up undocumented migrants without records and calling it national security. Grandma forgot her papers? Congratulations, she’s...
Uncategorized
Judge to Trump: “EV Chargers Exist, Cope.”
A federal judge just told Trump he can’t ghost $5 billion in EV charger funding for blue states. The court ruled that pretending infrastructure doesn’t count when it’s electric isn’t a legal argument—it’s a tantrum.
Uncategorized
America Does Pride, Protest, and Petty Politics—All in One Weekend
Pride flags flew, protesters screamed, and half the country tried to ignore both. It’s June in America, where human rights and homeland insecurity collide in a rainbow-scented fever dream of...
Uncategorized
Ceasefire Means “Pause to Reload,” Apparently
Iran and Israel are still lobbing missiles like it’s Eurovision with warheads, despite a U.S.-brokered ceasefire that’s collapsing faster than an X post apology. Everyone’s blaming everyone. Diplomacy’s in witness...
Business
Wall Street Tanks ‘Cause Oil’s Feeling Expensive Again
Markets dipped like your mood after rent day, thanks to oil prices spiking over Middle East chaos. Investors panicked, traders blamed geopolitics, and the rest of us are just trying to afford frozen pizza.
Business
IMF Screams 'Told You So' As Middle East Hits Markets
The IMF’s crystal ball finally got something right: Middle East conflict = global economic migraine. Oil’s up, markets are skittish, and central bankers are refreshing spreadsheets with dread.
Business
US Gas Prices Up—Wallets Now Fully Empty
Turns out, bombing Iran isn’t free—at the pump. U.S. gas prices spike again as oil traders light cigars with your fuel budget. Cue patriotic tears and bicycle sales.
Iran Lobs Missiles, Qatar Dodges Like a Pro
3 weeks ago
Middle East Blows Up, Oil Says Thanks
3 weeks ago
Iran Launches Missiles, West Checks Calendar
3 weeks ago
BREAKING NEWS
Gaza Buries Its Children While Israel Bombs, and the World Scrolls On
Let’s get one thing straight: what’s happening in Gaza is not just “a conflict.” It’s not a “complex situation.” It’s a slow-motion horror show where the ending is always the...
California’s New Immigration Jail: More Beds, Less Soul
Congress Reconsiders Security After Minnesota Shooting—With Thoughts and Prayers, Obviously
Trump’s Visa Freeze: Indian Students Ghosted by America
MORE IN BREAKING NEWS
- Trump’s Student Purge: Harvard’s Loss is Tokyo’s Gain - With over 1,800 international students losing their visas and enrollment from India dropping by 28%, U.S. universities are hemorrhaging talent. Meanwhile, countries like Japan and the UK are rolling out the red carpet, capitalizing on...
- Trump Sells Out Steel Workers—Again - Trump just gave the green light to Nippon Steel’s $14B buyout of U.S. Steel, calling it a win for America while handing the factory keys to Tokyo. MAGA hats didn’t mention outsourcing your job to...
- Trump Tanks Economy, Blames Biden, God, and Gravity - The U.S. economy just shrank 0.3% in Trump’s first quarter back on the throne, and guess who’s getting fingered for it? Not the guy who set off a tariff grenade?
- Trump Celebrates 100 Days with Rally: 'Nothing Will Stop Me' - Trump threw a party for himself, claimed unparalleled success, and took shots at judges. The crowd was half-full, but his confidence was overflowing.
- Trump Administration Nixes Sewage Settlement, Leaves Alabama Residents in Deep Trouble - In a move that stinks, the Trump administration voids a civil rights settlement addressing raw sewage issues in Alabama's Lowndes County, labeling it an illegal DEI initiative. Residents are left wading through the consequences.
POLITICS
Israel (US) Bombs Iran’s Trade Dreams—Because China Can’t Have Nice Things
So the West says it’s about “nuclear non-proliferation,” “security in the region,” and some vague God-and-country mumbo jumbo. But strip away the press releases and flag-draped justifications, and it’s really...
Trump’s ‘Beautiful’ Budget Bill Gets Curb-Stomped by Reality
Trump Demands NATO Spend More—Because America’s Broke, But Loud
Eric Adams Loses Primary, Hits ‘Independent’ Like It’s a Rebound Ex
MORE IN POLITICS
- Trump Yeets 200 Jets, Iran Rebuilds by Thursday - Trump’s “mission accomplished” moment over Iran’s nuclear sites lasted a full 36 hours, until Pentagon analysts quietly revealed it only bought a few months’ delay. Iran and Israel are still mid-slapfight, and the ceasefire is...
- Cuomo Beaten by Socialist Who Actually Reads Rent Receipts - Andrew Cuomo’s redemption arc got torched by 33-year-old Zohran Mamdani, whose mayoral primary win just proved New Yorkers prefer rent caps over corporate hugs. It’s Gen Z’s Gotham now—get your bag or get bulldozed.
- Congress Suddenly Remembers War Powers Exist - Trump’s solo strike on Iran has Congress clutching the Constitution like it’s prom night. Now they’re debating war powers, again. Spoiler: they’ll probably do nothing, again.
- Trump Slaps 50% Tariffs—Because Inflation Wasn’t High Enough - In his latest flex, Trump doubled tariffs on steel and aluminum imports to 50%, promising it’ll bring jobs back. Canada’s pissed, Mexico’s fuming, and your beer cans just filed for bankruptcy. This is economic patriotism...
- Musk Nukes Trump’s Tax Plan: ‘Disgusting Abomination’ - Elon Musk just roasted Trump’s new tax-and-spend monstrosity like it’s the Cybertruck on fire. Called it “disgusting,” “insane,” and “straight-up dumb.” Some Republicans signed it without reading—because nothing screams fiscal responsibility like blindfolds and vibes.
SPORTS
NBA Draft: Kids Get Rich, Teams Get Hope, Knicks Get Screwed (Again)
It’s NBA Draft season—aka America’s annual lottery of height, hype, and horrible decision-making. The Barclays Center was dripping in diamonds, draft suits, and delusion last night as 19-year-olds became millionaires...
NFL Draft 2025: Titans Eye Cam Ward as Top Pick
NBA Playoffs Heat Up: Underdogs Bite Back in Game 3 Thrillers
MORE IN SPORTS
ENVIRONMENT
Florida Builds Detention Camp, Calls It Swamp Chic
Florida’s real estate game just took a dystopian turn. Governor Ron DeSantis has approved a new migrant detention center—in the middle of the Everglades. Yep, the literal swamp. The same...
Cargo Ships Getting Detoxed—Because Apparently Air Matters Now
Trump's Forest Plan: Axes First, Ecosystems Later
Trump’s Arctic Drilling Plan: Because Who Needs Polar Bears?
MORE IN ENVIRONMENT
- Trump Administration Rolls Back Climate Protections, Exits Paris Agreement - Trump's environmental policy: out with the Paris Agreement, in with the pollution.
- Trump's Tariffs Spark Fears of Inflation and Recession - Economists warn that President Trump's new tariffs could lead to higher inflation and increase the likelihood of a recession. The economic forecast is cloudy with a chance of downturn.
- Nearly Half of Americans Breathing in Unsafe Levels of Air Pollutants - A new report reveals that almost 156 million Americans are exposed to unhealthy air quality, marking a 16% increase from last year. Clean air: the new luxury item.
HEALTH
RFK Jr’s Vax Panel Says: Inject Chaos, Not Science
If you ever wondered what would happen if you let your conspiracy uncle run a public health agency—congrats, America just found out. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s new vaccine council is...
RFK Jr’s CDC Panel Bans Vaccine Preservative—Science Sobs Quietly
East Coast Melts While Leaders Fan Themselves with Fossil Cash
US Hospitals Brace For Missile-Sized ER Bills
MORE IN HEALTH
- Planned Parenthood Clinics Close—Access Denied, Uterus Optional - At least 20 Planned Parenthood clinics across seven states have closed due to financial and political challenges following the end of Roe v. Wade. Red states call it ‘liberty.’ Women call it ‘a f***ing disaster.’
- Measles Hits 1,000 Cases—Thanks, Karen - The CDC confirms over 1,000 measles cases in the U.S. this year, thanks to an army of Facebook PhDs still convinced vaccines are a Bill Gates microchip plot. Herd immunity is now just a nostalgic...
- Measles Cases Climb in the U.S., Health Officials Alarmed - Measles cases continue to rise across the United States, prompting health officials to urge vaccinations. It's a blast from the past no one wanted.
- Flu Season Arrives Early: Hospitals Brace for Surge in Cases - Hospitals across the U.S. report a significant uptick in flu cases, with some regions seeing a 50% increase compared to last year. Time to stock up on tissues and hand sanitizer.
BUSINESS
Nike Tries Capitalism Speedrun, Trips Over Tariffs
Nike just tried to outrun geopolitics in $300 sneakers and sprained its profit margin. After Trump’s latest tantrum turned into a fresh pile of China tariffs, Nike’s quarterly earnings stumbled...
America Loses $20B Tech IPO to… Brexitland?!
Wall Street Tanks ‘Cause Oil’s Feeling Expensive Again
IMF Screams 'Told You So' As Middle East Hits Markets
MORE IN BUSINESS
- US Gas Prices Up—Wallets Now Fully Empty - Turns out, bombing Iran isn’t free—at the pump. U.S. gas prices spike again as oil traders light cigars with your fuel budget. Cue patriotic tears and bicycle sales.
- Middle East Blows Up, Oil Says Thanks - Oil prices jumped over 3% because nothing spikes profits like war. Wall Street pretends to be surprised while your next fuel bill starts its villain origin story.
- Trump Sells Out Steel Workers—Again - Trump just gave the green light to Nippon Steel’s $14B buyout of U.S. Steel, calling it a win for America while handing the factory keys to Tokyo. MAGA hats didn’t mention outsourcing your job to...
- Trump Plans to Ease Auto Tariffs Amid Industry Pushback - After revving up tariffs, Trump now taps the brakes to appease automakers.
- Tesla Profits Take a Hit, Musk Promises to Refocus - Tesla reports a significant drop in profits, leading CEO Elon Musk to pledge reduced involvement in his government role to concentrate on the company. Investors hope it's not just another tweet.
ENTERTAINMENT
Xiaomi’s EV Isn’t Just a Car—It’s a Flex, a Powerbank, and a Ferrari Cosplay
Move over, Tesla—China’s tech sweetheart Xiaomi just kicked the EV door in and said, “We make phones, fridges, rice cookers—and now we make you jealous.” Their debut electric car, the...
'Until Dawn' Film Adaptation Falls Short on Scares
Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Review - A Deeply Satisfying Homage to JRPGs
MORE IN ENTERTAINMENT
LIFESTYLE
Americans Panic-Buy Beans, Forget Can Openers
When the world teeters on the brink of World War III, the U.S. public reacts with its usual blend of logic and lunacy: hoard beans like it’s a protein apocalypse—but...
Americans Embrace Minimalism in Post-Pandemic Era
Americans Embrace 'Slow Living' Trend Amidst Fast-Paced World
MORE IN LIFESTYLE
WORLD
Senators Hear Trump’s Iran Plan, Immediately Regret Asking
If you ever wondered what it sounds like when a room full of elected officials collectively regrets their life choices, just replay the classified Iran strike briefing Congress got this...
Trump Declares Victory in Iran—Iran Laughs, Keeps Rebuilding
Iran Lobs Missiles, Qatar Dodges Like a Pro
Iran Launches Missiles, West Checks Calendar
MORE IN WORLD
- Trump Declares Ceasefire, Everyone Side-Eyes - Donald Trump says peace is here—because he said so. Israel and Iran are allegedly standing down, thanks to Qatar. Global trust level: somewhere between 'LOL' and 'sure, Jan'.
- U.S. Buys Ukraine’s Minerals, Calls It “Allyship,” Not Extraction - The U.S. just signed a minerals deal with Ukraine that looks a lot like post-war capitalism in a trench coat.
- Trump Urges Putin to 'Stop Shooting' After Vatican Meeting with Zelenskyy - Trump plays peacemaker at the Vatican, asking Putin to 'stop shooting'—because that's how diplomacy works now.
- Two U.S. Marines Investigated for Alleged Rapes in Okinawa - Two U.S. Marines face investigations over separate rape allegations in Okinawa, reigniting tensions over the American military presence in Japan. Diplomatic relations are once again on thin ice.
UNCATEGORIZED
SCOTUS Clocks Out With One Last Culture War Combo Meal
Welcome to the Supreme Court’s version of an end-of-financial-year sale: everything must go—rights, protections, and maybe your last shred of faith in democracy. In its final pre-vacation sprint, SCOTUS slammed...
Trump Screams “Cut Rates!” Fed Screams “No.”
ICE Now Deporting People for Breathing Wrong
Judge to Trump: “EV Chargers Exist, Cope.”
MORE IN UNCATEGORIZED
- America Does Pride, Protest, and Petty Politics—All in One Weekend - Pride flags flew, protesters screamed, and half the country tried to ignore both. It’s June in America, where human rights and homeland insecurity collide in a rainbow-scented fever dream of freedom, fear, and Facebook rants.
- Ceasefire Means “Pause to Reload,” Apparently - Iran and Israel are still lobbing missiles like it’s Eurovision with warheads, despite a U.S.-brokered ceasefire that’s collapsing faster than an X post apology. Everyone’s blaming everyone. Diplomacy’s in witness protection.
